Friday, October 12, 2012

Lets get serious for a second

As a parent I find myself constantly watching what I say. I am a believer that children learn from us, they watch and listen to everything! Whether we are often aware of it or not, there is usually a small being around ready to mimic or repeat anything they might hear. Its how they learn. The reason I bring this up is because I had an opportunity to pick Lily up from Gymnastics without her brother and sister yesterday and she brought up a conversation about what people say and feelings. I choose to take it as a learning moment and share with her what I felt was important information without it being a 'lesson' so to speak.
I dont remember exactly what she said but it was along the lines of someone being fat. I explained to her that being fat isnt healthy for a person, how it can affect thier heart and how the heart needs to work hard to pump blood through the entire body. I then went on to tell her that sometimes people are fat for a reason, could be medical, could be that they need help to get healthy and didnt have any or they could just not be ready to get healthy. But no matter what the reason be, whether a person is fat, or looks different we should never judge or say mean words about them because most of the time, people who may be overweight, or look differently they know it and saying words about it would surely make them sad. A few seconds passed and she whispers 'oh I probably shouldnt tell you then' My mommy radar went up, I wanted to know but I didnt want to scare her into telling me or scare her in general. Come to find out, mind you this is like a game of telephone and out of the mouth of my 7 year old, whom is very honest and caring. I guess a classmate of hers had said her mom (the classmates mom) had made comments to the classmate about my apperance, stating she thought I was pregnant again or could just be fat. The classmate then went on to tell my daughter she wasnt so say anything because 'my mom will kill you!'
I am not bothered by what could have been said because people are going to have thier own opinions on me and in general. But I get to choose how I let it affect me! And I am not going to let another persons opinions about me bring me down. Could I be at a healthier weight? Yes but cant we all! Am I fat? No I dont think so. And no I am not pregnant. The part that bothers me is how my sweet 7 year old must have felt when a classmate was saying these words about her mother. Then the 'my mom will kill you comment' We dont use that phrase at home try to keep our personal opinions about another to ourselves. Never have we shared an opinion about another in front of our children. We try to teach them its whats inside that counts! NO matter what a person looks like on the outside, they still have feelings, words still hurt them and they want to be accepted just the same as everyone else.  So please I urge you from one parent to another, regardless of your opinions please watch what you say in front or around your children. They will repeat it and it is more than likely going to come out in a completely different way than you may have intended it.
I am however very very proud of my sweet girl for having the courage to tell me. I am sure it took alot from her. AFter our conversation she was worried that I wouldnt let her be friends with this girl anymore. I can not lie, deep down a vindictive part wanted to call the school, find her on facebook, leave her messages, and tell my daughter to stay far away. But if I did that I would be stooping to that level. My daughter is a strong and smart little girl. She has a good head on her shoulders and knows right from wrong, and she surely proved it in this circumstance. I am sure there will come a time when there will be people I would rather her not be friends with. But my opinion is just that, my opinion! She can pick and choose her friends as long as she is safe and she is making good decisions.

That is all for my seriousness today.
In a few days I will be sharing some pretty amazing breast cancer awareness items for you all. But I must wait on some of them.

Have a great day,
Kristen